Friday, August 23, 2002

Tragic News




After the death of veteran NASCAR Driver Dale Earnhardt and near fatal accident involving 90210's Jason Priestly, we knew it was a matter of time. The world's favorite actor/alien ALF has been killed in a practice round this morning. ALF had always chose NASCAR as his post-acting career/hobby. He claimed it was east to hide his identy behind the helmet, and the fans were really easy to be fooled if they caught on. And during a winning season, he could afford all the Cat Meat that he could eat. ALF will be missed, and his body will be sent back to Melmac where they will have the tradidional Corpse Roast in his honor.

What Texas needs is more bloggers, right? Good old Scott , has offered a place to
The Illuminated Donkey. Go to his blog and VOTE NOW!
I was pretty sure I saw an Illuminated Donkey the other night as Raz
in the Braz, but it must have just been my imagination.


this is thie kind of picture that inspires me to work hard, someday i'll have the good life.

Thursday, August 22, 2002

Sometimes the lyrics to one of my songs reflect exactly what's going on...
I wrote this last winter, but it's all about today. it's the first verse, the song's going to be on the next CD.

I could use a cold beer,
I could use some good lovin',
It's July in Fort Worth,
It's hot as an oven.
I could use some mexican food,
maybe a burger from down at Fred's.
or go home and sit by the pool,
and listen to the greatful dead.

i love the way the colors rhyme with the sky,
and how the pretty girls look at me,
when I walk by.
i love the way the birds whistle my favorite tune,
early in the morning,
when the sun comes up too soon.


i love animals, especially dogs, but that's just too funny.

You know, i'm having a really good day. Got about three hoursof sleep last night, but it's because I went and did the open mike thing at the top rail in dallas that Brian Burns hosts every wednesday. it's been a while since i've done anything like an open mike, it was really fun to play something that laid back and easy. stephen pointer went along and played lead, then played some of his stuff. i actually remembered not to get completely bombed, and it did pay off...
we did hit traffic... at 1am. how i miss dallas traffic. i guess it was grand prarie, it all runs together east of ftw to me. then we got back to stephen's apartment complex, also known as stonegate ghetto (the new luxury housing project), and the New Management had disabled the gate code. stephen didn't have his opener, so we had to wait like we were stalking the place for someone to come out. finally got home a little after 2 after hitting whataburger where i ran into a couple friends of mine. there's something about taquitos after 2 that are just too good to pass up. i've always wondered what the per capita BAC is among late night whataburger patrons...
guess i better get back to work.

Wednesday, August 21, 2002

There's a commercial I keep hearing on WBAP for mosquito repellent. It goes something like "Mosquito season is here, and so is the West Nile Virus!" Whoa! I better run out and some now! I guess their target market is People Without Common Sense.
I think the tobacco companies should use that same idea. How's this sound...
"The stock market's down, global warming is up. Your credit card bills are increasing, and your job may not be there long. What's a better time to have a smooth and refreshing Smokey-o 100. Not only is it great taste and fragrant, you'll be fooling your friends with your confidence and sophistication. Who cares if it takes years off your life, since we could all die from anthrax amy day!"

A few years ago, Dan Newcomb and I came up with the ad solgan that we thought would make us millionaires, "Diamonds my be a girls best friend, but with proper care, your molars can last a lifetime." Unfortunately, we didn't go anywhere with it. But someone else had a similar idea.

You know, sometimes you just need that special gift that says "I love you," "thank you," or maybe even "Baaaaaaaa." What's a better way that saying it with a Sheep?

Tuesday, August 20, 2002



hopefully third times the charm. this should produce the picture from the story about me and earl.

Dan Newcomb wrote:

>If cats had thumbs, would they drink Mickey┬╣s big mouths? If I were a cat
>with thumbs, I would.

yes friends, this is proof why you should send your kids to Baylor University.

Friend and coworker BP (not the one from KNON) came up with a good idea... I don't remember what he was talking about, but he said when he had passed on, he wanted to be cremated and have his ashes put in an etch-a-sketch. Not a bad idea, huh? Not only would it be a great memorial, but people would be able to enjoy you for a long time.

I copied this picture us us off Earl Bishop's site... It's when we played at Jim's Corner Icehouse in Houston a few months ago. Pretty fun time.
I played two nights in a row. Left right after work on Friday, got there about 10:30, well after the crowd had thinned out. Jason David Hiatt played with me that night. A few friends showed up later on, including songwriter Aaron Cain, and we played until about 1 or 1:30 or so. This one chick, a big burly gal, came up and bought a CD and said she liked the music and stuff, and wanted to know when we were playing again. Told her tomorrow night, she said she'd be back and bring her friends. The next night, she showed back up. Then another tough chick, then another, then another tough chick couple, then a group. Thought they must have been a softball team or something... Until they started dancing. I wouldn't have wanted to arm wrestle a single one of them. It was kinda weird at first, but they ended up being a really cool group of people. And now that I think about it, I don't care if I'm playing Lillith Fest if people are showing up... The funny part (and the point of this story) is that Earl didn't even notice that they were all chicks. He tought they were just a bunch of tought looking hetero's.

Tuesday it is. it is Tuesday. I found a fortune cookie in my truck when I was cleaning it out. And of course, I ate it (it was the kind with the wrapper on it). And lo and behold, my fortune inside said (and I quote) "You are going to change your present line of work." Not that I'm superstitious and really believe in the fortune cookie thing, but I thought it was cool since I've got my 3rd interview Friday with a company that seems like a good place to work.
On an unrelated note, I think I'll do all my writing at work today with a Sharpie.

Monday, August 19, 2002

The New CD is nearing the Planning Stages. Which I've written a bunch of new stuff, and I'm going to start trying to figure out how to pay for it. Here's the list of songs that are going to be on there so far and a brief description...

Different Kind of Crazy - Title cut, really just a rambling traveling song about different views on stuff.
Nowhere Road - A reflection of someone who would have been voted least likely to succeed if he (I) would have showed up at school long enough to be nominated... I was thinking about stuff and how I've actually done something with my life and been somewhat successful and I still run into those people in the Sonic parking lot playing rap with lotsa bass and saying hay ma there's a party at the wall did you see my new camaro yeah drop by i still live at home no i don't have custody that bitch took the kid... sorry, my punctuation function had just left me.
Taking Life Slow - the first cut from Earl Bishop's new CD.
Methamphetamine Blues - A breif story about a guy I went to school with. Last I heard, he jumped off a water tower after he brok out of detox, but he's still alive. Hope he comes back around some day.
Up Too Soon - White Collar Stuntman Blues.
Lacy Loves the Racecar Drivers - About my Friend McKenzie's sister. Her family's all old school cowboy fellers, and she's sworn off hooking up with any cowboy forever. Lots of poetic liscense...
Saddles, Guns, and Gold - Still in the begining stages.
Rockkenroll Medely - A honky tonk folk version of some good old 80's rock songs I like. It's going to be the secret track, complete with a Kasey Kasem Long Distance Dedication.
I think I'm going to try to write a drinking song, maybe some more stuff. I'll actuall know what I'm going to do once I get in the studio. Release date is targeted for March.

I went to the pharmacy earlier to get a refill on the stuff the guys at MindHead make me take. Didn't ahve anything to drink, and it wasn't raining, so I just brought the few I had to take inside with me at work where I always have my Trusty Glass of Water. I tossed them in my mouth, reached for my glass... empty... one of the guys started saying something and I looked over with a mouth full of pills, not thinking about it (not thinking seems to be a current theme of mine...), and they dissolved in about 15 seconds. Luckily, I was wearing my Nike Air Boots and could run very rapidly acroos the office to our spacious Employee Lounge where I rapidly drank 3 glasses of water. It's been about an hour and a gallon of water later, and I still feel like the cartoon where they ate Alum of Allumn or whatever it's called.

Kick ass! It worked! As if I would doubt the guy that got me into this whole thing in the first place. Someday I'll be as cool as he is. First it's links, then pictures, wow, it's like a whole new world! But hopefully, I'll have a job soon where I'm doing a bit more work than I am right now. Thanks Scott.

The Fat Guy
i'm using scott's technical expertise to learn how to insert a link. test #1.

monday morning. so glad to be here.